Title: Jealousy
Author:
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heiryzmylisza Rating: GP
Pairing: MassuTego / SuShi~♥
Summary: Massu's jealous...a crappy summary for a crappy drabble...
Massu never really knew how he ended up being overwhelmed by this emotion. It was so foreign to him that when he first felt it there, he just dismissed it within a heartbeat. But then, things kept on happening making the unknown feeling already an acquaintance. So as he chews on his gyoza that late afternoon watching his boyfriend narrate things so enthusiastically about his stay at Ryo’s place 3 days ago, Massu welcomes once again his friend named Jealousy.
“Well, I was really surprised when I woke up Massu. Ryotan was just there beside me. Plus, he really took care of me during my stay there. He’d give me food every once in a while and ask if I was feeling okay or comfortable. Isn’t he just sweet?” Tegoshi blabs on not noticing Massu’s discomfort and slight irritation at the subject.
“Yeah, well, he’s really just nice ne? Oh, have I told you about the nice new girl at the radio station? She’s just new there and she’s really pretty,” Massu tries to change the subject. “Oh, I’m sure she is Massu. Oh yeah, Ryotan also gave me a back massage before I took a shower…” and Massu just smiles as he desperately tries to cover up the hurt he is feeling inside. It would’ve been okay to him really if only he hasn’t heard the same story for the nth time that week, and it only happened three effing days ago. But what hurts the most is that Tegoshi confessed to him that he almost fell for the guy before.
“Is there something wrong Massu?” Tegoshi finally asks as he notices Massu’s sudden change in mood. “It’s nothing, I’m just thinking about something,” Massu lies. In truth, the pain he’s feeling is already killing him inside. He didn’t realize that jealousy could make him feel so much pain all at once. “Ah…you wanna go out and walk for a while?” Tegoshi asks and Massu just nods barely before standing up to leave.
“What do you want to do Massu?” Tegoshi tries to make a conversation as Massu walks silently beside him. Massu being unenergetic is something he isn’t used to see. “I don’t know… it’s up to you,” Massu answers. “Oh, uhm… do you want to go to the arcade? You can finally have your chance at beating me in racing,” Tegoshi says and changes direction heading towards the nearest arcade center. Massu is about to agree but he just was not in the mood to play any stupid games. “Let’s just have some coffee?” he suggests half-heartedly making Tegoshi agree immediately.
“What’s wrong with you Massu?” Tegoshi asks concernedly. “It’s nothing,” Massu answers as he sips his Choco Mint coffee. “Please be okay, smile for me now will you?” Tegoshi asks as he peers up at Massu, his smile inviting. Massu smiles, an obviously fake one but at least it was enough to make Tegoshi stop.
A few minutes later, Massu actually feels like he’s already cheering up. But then, Tegoshi excitedly pipes up when he sees Yamapi walking at the other side of the street. Massu suddenly remembers Tegoshi’s liking for their leader and he feels jealousy bubble up again within him in a matter of milliseconds. “You’re really fast ne? at spotting Yamapi in any place,” Massu tries to joke around. “Yeah well, I guess so,” Tegoshi replies missing Massu’s pained look. Tegoshi you idiot…that’s not the right answer…Massu thought as he looks away from the window, jealousy overflowing in his aching heart.
“Hey love,” Tegoshi calls out. Massu ignores it but Tegoshi’s persistent and calls him like that again. So Massu decides to send a glare to Tegoshi but was welcomed with a hearty laugh from the latter. Massu gives up then and continues walking towards the bus stop. Tegoshi finally catches up with him and holds his hand. “Who do I love?” Tegoshi asks, a glint of amusement in his eyes. “I don’t know,” Massu truthfully answers. “Eh?! Do you want me to shout out who?” Tegoshi jokingly threatens. “Me… you love me…” Massu answers with a tone of defeat. “Right,” Tegoshi happily says and kisses Massu’s cheek in adoration.
Massu chews on his lower lip stopping all his emotions from spilling out. it’s not enough, these words aren’t enough anymore. He’s jealous and he’s God damn aware of it but he can’t as very well tell it to Tegoshi. No, he can’t do that so he’ll just have to keep it all inside and act like it doesn’t matter. “I need to go,” Massu blurts out as his bus came. “Okay, take care ne?” Tegoshi says and Massu just climbs in the airconditioned bus his heart still heavy with all the jealousy.
Then a text message comes in, a short quote about how to tell your lover that you’re jealous already. He laughs about it and decides not to delete it. He thinks that maybe ne day he might have enough courage to forward it to Tegoshi. But then he knows Tegoshi wouldn’t take it all seriously so he ends up laughing bitterly about it. Knowing fully well that Jealousy might be there to stay.
-------~~~ ♥ ♥ ♥ ~~~-------
How do you tell the one you love
That you’re already jealous?
It’s hard right?
It’s like this…
You hug them tight and then whisper,
“Just say their name one more time and I’ll kill you”
♥-♥-♥
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A/N: a crappy drabble? i know...
it's as crappy as the way i felt it yesterday...
it's stupid to write a fic based on it
but i just have to let it out somehow...
so, yeah, i guess it ended up here...
gomen ne...
anyway, comments are still accepted...
yoroshiku onegaishimasu...
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